we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
