Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
