They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
