We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
