I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
