Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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