i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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