who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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