I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
