wanna go halves on a baby?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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