drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
