Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Randomize
