i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
