I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
