You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
