Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
