Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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