it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
