Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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