Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
