I love black thongs
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I have already put on my inside pants.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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