just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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