she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
