i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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