Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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