all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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