I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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