I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
