remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
