I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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