Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize