apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
