Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
