Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
