that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
