How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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