Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
