Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
