Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
