So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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