Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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