It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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