hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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