you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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