I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
