Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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