she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
