we have officially lost it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
