Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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