i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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