whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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