Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize