I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
