all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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