"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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