yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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