He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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