Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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