Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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