let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
