you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
