problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
