i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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