Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize