I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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