Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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