Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
