can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
