What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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