Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
