...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
